I'm Not Like 'Those People'

A recent letter and response that addresses the ‘terminal uniqueness’ issue:
Hi and thx for getting back to me. I have never tried anything to get off of these pills. I am not your stereotypical addict. Truth be told I have never been addicted in my life. I feel like such a loser for letting myself get out of control and if it was not for being sick I would have licked this a long time ago! I am not off them right now because I cant. I work hard all day to support my family and there is no time to be down and out. I have also suffered an incredible string of losses over the past two years. What a predicament huh? I lost my wife two years ago, and the story goes on. I have chronic back pain from degenerative discs, but I will deal with that. Will suboxone do anything for me?
My response:
I have a couple things to say that may come across as ‘brutally honest’—don’t take it personally, but rather understand that EVERY person who gets stuck on opiates has a unique story, and we all were reluctant to see ourselves as ‘stereotypical addicts’. There is a term in addiction—‘terminal uniqueness’—that refers to a state of mind that is common with addiction, and which keeps people sick.
A frequent refrain by a person new to a treatment center is ‘I’m not like those people’. The fact of the matter is that one rarely sees a ‘stereotypical addict’ at treatment. What one sees are teachers, dentists, single and married moms, college students, high school students, people with back problems or fibromyalgia, people who have been through terrible tragedies… So try to avoid seeing the things that make you unique. Instead, try to see the things that make you like everyone else—the horrible feeling of being trapped by something, when you have always handled things well up until now. That is how most people who are stuck on opiates feel—trapped, embarrassed, ashamed, angry… and afraid. Others don’t feel anything because they repress all of their feelings and put up a fake, cocky exterior. That is what denial is all about.
J

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